A year or two ago had you asked me whether I was more likely to start a blog or join a sex site I would have said neither, 'I'm a student, do you think I have time to F-ing blog!' And then I would have paused and asked, 'what do you mean by sex site?' My adventures into the realms of internet sexuality did not begin on the site (that will remain un-named) that I currently frequent. I certainly would not have joined one of those sites, full of sleazebags and rapists. (Do women even join those sites at all?) I started out on fetlife. Kink was safe, kink was wholesome, kink meant alternative people, intelligent people, gender queer people, kink meant my kind of people.
By the end of high school I had come to accept that I was not a Puritan. I live in Perth now, but I grew up on the northern border of the United States. I was born and raised in Michigan, politically a swing state, in a multiethnic college town straddling yuppie, ghetto, and redneck culture, and all that that entails. Compared to where I live now, my teenage years placed me as the observer to a string of intense experiences.
I was a late bloomer according to my friends. I remember at 13, my best friend Marie (and still best friend until this day), who was to move to Florida the next year, asked me whether I was more likely to have sex in high school or smoke weed. I said I would have sex at 15 (I was already desperately horny), and most likely try pot in college. She said she would probably save sex for marriage (she was Christian at the time), and try weed in high school. The next year she ended up losing her virginity to her boyfriend in a church bathroom, and I got stoned in the back seat of my friend's car on Halloween. So much for teenage planning. I had my first 'boyfriend' at 14. He was my first kiss. It lasted a week. It took me until 17 to do anything else remotely sexual other than masturbation. My high school friends were poor, angry, white, and completely wrong for me. I saw them lose their virginity at 12, 14, 15, 16, and cry tears over teenage boys who told them half truths, or left them for other girls, or in once case, called her 'ho'. A Christian friend of mine told me that virginity was my jewel, my personal gem, and I should not give it up until the time was absolutely right. I could not have sex without falling hopelessly in love. But I could not sleep some nights because there was something stirring just above my inner thighs. I wanted to fucking fuck someone! Or at the very least a hair brush handle! And after all I was raised by non theistic parents, so could I did I totally believe in those values? But if I did fuck someone who was not my boyfriend, or nice, or acceptable for my social standing, that would make me a slut. Admitting to masturbation was out of the question. Girls did not talk about that openly, and you were a slut if you owned a dildo. Yet for every year of high school I turned away another boy I was laughed at for being inexperienced or undesirable, and frankly, it only added my being a bit of an outcast.
I must admit though, talking about my home town in this light does not give it enough credit. An academic college town is certainly not without its liberal side. I had just been to afraid to embrace it! My last year of high school Marie came back to Michigan from Florida, and I made friends with Kathleen who was feminist, sex positive, and would have a brief stint studying sexology in college. Marie's mom is a lesbian, and Marie came out to me as bisexual when we were 12. The year Marie came back Marie's mom wanted to get her involved with the gay community so she found her some friends who through parties. The couple that hosted these events were, as they called themselves, polygamous. At my first party of theirs, the younger of the couple got drunk ran around the house naked, and kissed ever girl there while her partner played the voyeur. I had no idea how to handle this at 17, and left early, but it planted a seed in my head as to how I might want my future relationships to be.
By the time I was 18 and a half I had graduated high school, ditched my earlier group of high school friends, bought a vibrating dildo, lost my virginity to a man, lost my virginity to woman, and had my first threesome with a man and a woman, and was soon to fly off to Australia without looking back. One new country, a string of fuck buddies and drunk one night stands, one heart breaking spiritual transformation with a transvestite, and a few BDSM play parties later, I found myself on the brink of breaking a new taboo. After coming home one night drunk, and sexually frustrated over the not meeting a man I wanted to get with at the clubs, I decided fuck it, I'm going to do it, and make a profile on that website.
